Secrets & Pranks
by melissawtf
Summary: SHIELD falls, more people learn of Darcy's true parentage, and other people learn that tampering with cookie dough is considered sacrilege. [Part 2 of 'The Avenger and the Civilian' series]


**Author's Note: Ask and you shall receive. Well, not really. The idea that was left in a comment got the wheels turning and I just couldn't ignore it.**

 **If you haven't read "Lost & Found" then this might be confusing to you. So stop, go back and read that, and then continue on with part II of what I'm going to call **_**The Avenger and the "Civilian"**_ **series. And also, just so you know, some things that happened in "Age of Ultron" (*cough*Bruce/Nat*cough* or *cough*Barton's Wife & Kids*cough*) will not be happening in here. Don't get me wrong, I loved Laura, but she just doesn't fit in here. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

SHIELD falls on an average Tuesday afternoon. Of course, though, Clint Barton and Darcy Lewis have absolutely no idea about it.

You see, the Uncle/Niece duo actually used their new found closeness to catch up on lost time and actually be a family. But with Darcy came the elder Lewis' and then Clint was introduced to a whole new level of awkward by having to explain his relation to Darcy to her adoptive parents. He gave them a DNA test when they voiced their suspicion, and then destroyed said DNA test and the confiscated blood samples for safety purposes. The Lewis' knew of Darcy's connection to Foster and Thor, so Clint briefly explained a bit about SHIELD and how he couldn't tell them much because A.) it went against all safety and secrecy regulations and B.) because them knowing too much about SHIELD could put them in danger.

And in true Lewis form, the elder Lewis' understood the seriousness of the situation and welcomed Clint with open arms after finding out everything that they could. Of course, though, they did all this is secret and it was actually Mr. Lewis who helped Clint find his home away from SHIELD and the Avengers Tower in the form of an isolated farm.

Only Mr. Lewis and Clint knew of the farm's location, and then eventually Darcy who later convinced her Uncle to take some time off so they could relax after the whole Dark Elves fiasco.

SHIELD falls on a Tuesday, but Clint and Darcy don't find out until Wednesday.

* * *

It's still dark out when Darcy gasps awake, nightmares of the Destroyer blowing flames of fire and of Dark Elves firing their weapons at her making her heart hammer in fear. Sweat coats her neck and chest, and even though the windows to her bedroom are wide open, it does nothing but make the rest of her body feel clammy. She groans at being woken yet again and pushes herself into a sitting position. When her feet touch the cool wooden floor, her body suddenly feels the need to use the bathroom. And not one to deny her body, Darcy heads to the bathroom to relieve herself and to splash some water on her face before using a small damp towel to wipe her body down.

Darcy soon finds herself sneaking quietly into the kitchen, guzzling down a glass of faucet water when several loud bangs sound on the front screen door. The glass nearly slips from her grasp, but she manages to set it down on the counter without incident. She spots the the time on the microwave reading just after 4A and when the banging sounds again, her eyes narrow dangerously. But before she can even head to the front door to give the intruder a piece of her mind, Clint appears from the shadows in a pair of flannel pants and a fitted dark tee with his trusty bow in hand.

"Stay back," he mutters quietly.

Nightmares forgotten and the sudden seriousness of the situation sinking in, Darcy gulps and nods. Clint then continues on his way to the front door while Darcy remains rooted to her spot in the kitchen, and she only jumps in surprise when she hears the front door bang open. There's a few muffled words being had, but Darcy can't make any of it out.

A minute slowly passes and then Clint shuffles back into the kitchen, flipping the light on as he passes her and gestures to the dark-skinned man in a black beanie wearing an eye-patch, a gray thermal shirt beneath a black wool trench-coat, and black slacks. "Darcy, this is Nick Fury. Fury, this Darcy," he introduces them with a yawn.

"Dude, it's early o'fuck in the morning," she glares. "Could the social visit not have waited until, you know, the sun was up?"

"Charming," Fury then deadpans, his gaze darting back to Clint. "I didn't know you had company, Barton. I need to speak with you in private."

Having rummaged through the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of orange juice, Clint waves him off as he chugs a mouthful of the tart liquid. "Her bestie is Jane Foster and she had first contact with Thor." As Clint takes a pause to take another drink, Fury glances at Darcy to re-evaluate her. "And, you know, there's also the fact she's my niece. I tell her everything so you might as well just say what you have to say."

Fury's one eye widens just a fraction and then narrows in annoyance when he catches Darcy's smirk. And as Darcy hops up on the counter and leans back while crossing her arms over her chest, and practically dares him to tell her to leave the room, Fury heaves a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose while mumbling about _too many goddamn secrets._ But when Clint finally gives Fury his undivided attention, Nick goes on to tell him all that he's missed. The two Barton's are treated to the tale of Nick uncovering secrets about SHIELD and the fact that said secrets earned him a couple bullets to the chest from none other than the Winter Soldier. Clint swears rather impressively and Darcy gulps at the brief flash of fear her Uncle displays.

They learn that HYDRA is still alive and kicking- the organization having grew inside SHIELD and having finally decided to come out of the shadows. Fury had faked his death to fool everyone since he didn't know who to trust, but luckily Maria Hill, Agent Romanoff, and Captain America were clean. Darcy snorts then, mumbling about how anyone could even think Steve was the bad guy, but Fury continues on as if she hadn't interrupted.

Fury tells them who all turned out to be HYDRA, about a man named Sam Wilson who put his life on the line to help the Captain, about the fact that the Winter Soldier is actually a brainwashed Bucky Barnes that HYDRA kept on ice and only thawed out for the important missions, and that the Winter Soldier nearly killed Captain America who ended up being fished out of the Potomac River and was currently under lock down in the hospital as he recovers.

"Oh, and Natasha released every single file on SHIELD servers onto the internet. Since HYDRA grew within us, their secrets are all out there for the world to see as well."

"WHAT?!" Darcy shrieks and hops down from the counter. "Every. Single. File?"

Clint's looking a bit bewildered at that piece of information as well, but it was Darcy who reacted first and it's Fury who answers. "Yeah."

"Fuck!" Darcy races from the kitchen, both Clint and Fury watching her go. They hear a small ruckus from what they're guessing is her room and then moments later she returns with three laptops in her arms. She sets down each laptop on the kitchen table, opening each one up and powering them on. "I can't believe she would do that," Darcy mumbles distractedly. "What was she even thinking?!"

As Darcy's fingers fly over the keyboards of each laptop, Clint and Fury stare at one another and wonder just what the hell is going on. Nick quirks an eyebrow at Clint, but Clint merely shrugs.

"This is like Tony and the Mandarin all over again," Darcy groans. "Stupid superheroes and their goddamn egos. Why didn't they call in for backup?!"

Fury huffs and opens his mouth to retort, but Clint hurriedly shakes his head. "Don't," he murmurs. "She's going full-steam now. Let her work."

"Work what?" Fury asks.

Again, Clint shrugs. "M'not sure. Let's see."

As the men stand behind Darcy's chair, both sets of eyes narrow at the familiar Stark logos on each screen. Then centering herself, Darcy heaves a big sigh while tying her hair up in a more secure bun atop her head. "Alright, JARVIS, you there?"

" _Indeed, Miss Lewis. What seems to be the problem?_ " Stark's AI's accented voice filters through the speakers.

Fury quickly glances at Clint, his eye narrowing and the archer grins. "What? She's a Barton. The Avengers adopted her when I told them about her and she has pretty much everyone wrapped around her finger."

"Of course, they are."

"JARVIS, we have a Code Black," she then says very clearly. "I need you to run Operation Hit-Man and start deleting all SHIELD files off the internet. Include keywords: Lewis, Foster, Barton, and Romanov."

Darcy's fingers are clicking away once more as she focuses on the task at hand, and Fury hums in approval.

" _Miss, Sir has started this Operation approximately eight hours ago._ "

"Oh, good." Darcy briefly pauses and then continues on once again. "Then start Operation Creep. Track down any and all IP addresses that have accessed these SHIELD files and do a clean sweep of their servers. Delete anything and everything you find."

" _As you wish, Miss Lewis._ "

Darcy continues typing away, clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth as she sets to work. The coding on the three screens mean nothing to Clint so when he turns to stare at Fury, he finds the man staring in complete awe- as much awe as Clint's ever seen the man display- and nudges his arm. "No," he immediately says. "Whatever you're thinking, stop right now."

Fury nods once in acknowledgement and takes a step away from Darcy's chair. "SHIELD could use someone like her."

"SHIELD's dead." At Fury's impassive stare, Clint twitches. Something's not right. "SHIELD is dead, isn't it?"

"You should know by now, Agent Barton, that I always have a back-up plan. I personally chose the new Director and he could use all the loyal men and women willing to keep the World safe."

"You chose him?" Clint scoffs. "Who the hell is loyal enough that you, of all people, thought that he was a good match for the position?" Again, Fury's impassive and Clint's immediately suspicious. "I can think of two people right off the bat, but Hill's female and Coulson's-" Fury's eyebrow twitches and Clint pauses. "-Coulson's dead." Fury's eyebrow twitches for a second time and Clint swears. "What the hell, Fury? Phil's **not** dead?!"

"WHAT?!" Darcy shrieks for the second time that morning, turning as much as possible in her chair.

"Technically, he was dead," Fury admits. "For five days."

" _Sonnuvabitch!_ "

Clint punches the nearest hard surface and Darcy pushes to her feet. Stalking up to Fury, she pokes him in the chest. "Explain. Now!"

Rolling his one eye, Fury takes a step back. "That's classified information, Miss Lewis."

"I don't give a flying fuck about classification," she growls. "I don't know much about Agent Coulson, but I did know that he was Clint and Natasha's handler, and that they were practically family. I watched as my Uncle," she blindly points in Clint's direction. "-struggled to get out of bed some days because he had so much grief over Coulson's death. I watched the Avengers mourn and Miss Pott's cry at a funeral that I'm now realizing was only an empty casket. So if I have to leave the room, I will, but you are going to explain to my Uncle why the hell you let this secret go on for so long!"

Darcy's chest is heaving in anger by the end of her little rant, but it apparently does it job.

"JARVIS," Fury calls out. "-flag all the files that mention the T.A.H.I.T.I. project and download them to Miss Lewis' main laptop."

* * *

In less than twenty-four hours of finding out about SHIELD, Fury had Darcy and Clint on a flight with him back to DC to see Steve before they headed back to New York to regroup with the others. And, of course, the Man With The Plan had already checked himself out of the hospital and the ex-Director had tracked him down to the cemetery where his fake grave site was at.

Upon arriving there, Nick explained the second presence as being Sam Wilson, but Darcy only had eyes for Steve. She punched his shoulder with all her might- as was turning into tradition for the idiots she thought of as family- and then hugged him tightly while mumbling about idiotic superheroes and their egos. Natasha had joined them sometime during Darcy's spiel and when Darcy finally acknowledged everyone else, Steve and Natasha glared at Sam when all too pleased smile adorned his lips.

"No," Steve, Clint, and Natasha had immediately told him.

Natasha had then handed over files to Steve on the Winter Soldier, and Darcy and Clint found out that Steve and Sam were leaving as soon as possible to search for Barnes. When asked what she was going to do, Natasha explained she was leaving as well to get away from the limelight and reinvent herself since she outed every single one of her aliases with the SHIELD dump. But before everyone could go their separate ways, Fury told Darcy to think about the SHIELD offer which then halted Steve and Natasha, and Fury quickly made his escape leaving Darcy and Clint to explain about Coulson.

Steve and Natasha are angry, but Clint assures them they'll be looking into Coulson and figuring out a way to approach him, and for them to worry about themselves first. Then when Darcy and Clint depart, it's up to them once again to explain Coulson's miraculous living state to Tony, Pepper, and Bruce since they were absolutely done with secrets.

Surprisingly, Tony is livid and it takes the combined efforts of Pepper, Clint, and Darcy to calm him down and promise not to do anything. They argue for days about Fury and his secrets, but ultimately come to the decision that no one is to approach Director Coulson; they'll wait for him to come to them. And after things settle down, no one is surprised to find out that Maria Hill knew about Coulson's current status, but they are surprised when she doesn't crack under the Black Widow's gaze when Natasha demands to know more after coming back to the Tower months later.

 **xXx**

" _Hey, Parakeet, you busy?_ "

Darcy's gaze snaps up from a binder of Jane's notes, her eyes narrowing at the video chat box that's popped up on her computer screen. "Still with the bird nicknames, I see. What do you want, Tony?"

" _A moment of your time. You almost done for the day?_ "

"Just one second." Her gaze is back on the binder, her right hand flying across paper as she transcribes the remaining of Jane's scribbles from the inside of a cut-up Poptart box into orderly fashion. She finishes up fairly quickly, snaps the binder shut, and gives Tony her undivided attention. "What's up, Tin Man?"

Tony's smirk falters, but he still manages to pull off his devil-may-care attitude. " _I downloaded some SHIELD files before JARVIS could get his virtual grubby paws on them, and they may be of some interest to you._ "

"Okay," she drawls.

" _Chop chop, Hummingbird. Come down to my not-so-secret lair._ "

Before Darcy can grumble about yet another bird nickname, Tony vanishes from her screen and she's left to close down her portion of Jane's lab before she meets him for whatever it is he wants. The trip down to Tony's lab is fairly quick and through the glass walls, she finds that Clint's in there as well. The door whooshes open upon her approach and she quirks an eyebrow at Clint when she catches his gaze.

"Are we in trouble?"

Her Uncle opens his mouth to retort, but Tony cuts him off. "Not at all. And instead of being awkward and stalling, I'm just going to cut right to the chase. I have some files on a certain Barney Barton and since you're related, I thought you should have them."

Tony hands over a tablet to Darcy who's blinking rather owlishly, and then goes back to tinkering about his lab while giving the family some privacy. She stares at the object in her hands- the tablet that has information about her biological father- and then stares at Clint who's a little bit too still for her liking.

"Here," She gulps and hands her Uncle the tablet. "You should read it. He's your brother."

That startles Clint from his stupor and he quickly shoves his hands deep into his pockets. "He's your father."

"A father who didn't want anything to do with me and who I've never met in my entire life," she readily replies. "Take the tablet, Clint. Go to your floor for some privacy and then come find me to give me all the gory details. Capiche?"

It takes Clint a moment, but he ends up listening to Darcy and taking the tablet from her. He leaves the lab without a word- the tablet tucked beneath one arm- and vanishes inside the elevator at the end of the corridor. Then heaving a sigh, Darcy turns to Tony.

"Give it to me straight, Tones. What's the damage?"

"Long story or short?"

"Short. And make it blunt."

This time, it's Tony's turn to sigh and rub a hand down over his face. Then straightening up on his stool, he meets her gaze head on. "Barney's dead." He pauses to catalog any sudden differences and to Darcy's credit, she doesn't make a peep. "He got on SHIELD's radar in a bad way, but since he was a Barton, they tried recruiting him. After their third attempt and two severely beaten SHIELD agents, there was an order to have him put down."

"Jesus," Darcy finally swears.

"To Agent Zombie- er, Director Zombie's- credit, he tried to sway Fury to put your Uncle on the mission. When that didn't work, Coulson asked for the Widow. Fury refused, most likely in fear of compromising one of his best agents, and Barney "TrickShot" Barton was put down a few years ago. Coulson, obviously, kept Fury's secret and Fury buried the mission reports."

"Fuck." Darcy doesn't know what to feel, but mourning her dead bio-dad is definitely not one of them. He didn't want her so she doesn't care for him, but she does feel horrible for her Uncle who she knows secretly hoped that he could one day help bring in his brother and turn him to their side. But apparently SHIELD is a big bag of dicks. "JARVIS, buddy," she then calls out. "Activate Operation Too Numb To Care." Then looking to Tony, she asks, "Can we use the pent house?"

"Sure, kiddo."

"And gather the girls in Tony's pent house," She then directs towards the ceiling.

" _Right away, Miss Lewis_."

When Darcy says no more, Tony clears his throat and gains her attention. "Do I even wanna know what Too Numb To Care is?"

She shrugs. "Jane and I came up with it for bad breakups. Clint's gonna need the company tonight. Trust me."

Tony doesn't argue and sure enough, Clint makes an appearance hours later looking very downtrodden after being summoned to the pent house. Tony had been assigned purchasing numerous boxes of pizza, Darcy and Bruce went half-and-half on Chinese takeout, Natasha brought the vodka, Pepper bought the Cookies n' Cream ice cream, and Jane brought the Disney films from her rooms.

* * *

When Steve returns to the Tower with his friend Sam a month later, Darcy's finally able to really help her Uncle work through his grief and anger at Fury by asking for Sam's help. Clint grumbles about not needing to talk to a shrink, but after Steve boasting about Sam and what good work he's done at the V.A, he caves. And just as things start getting good once more, Maria comes to them with a tip from Coulson's team about some bizarre energy readings in Sokovia that are a little too much alike to that of Loki's scepter.

In and out is what everyone said the mission was going to be and for the most part, it was. But Tony came back a lot more worried about Earth's protection and thus created Ultron who ended up wanting the destruction of the one thing it was meant to protect.

"Go," Clint tells Darcy after Ultron had revealed his intentions. "You know where to go so that no one finds you. Lay low and keep off those Stark laptops. Anywhere that JARVIS has been, Ultron will find."

"Y-yeah. Okay." Darcy doesn't put up a fight though she does hug each and every Avenger, and makes them promise to come home to her.

She's set to leave before the Avengers depart which then gives Thor the perfect opportunity to talk to her before leaving. "Lady Darcy," he humbly approaches her. "I apologize for coming to you at the last second before your departure, but I must ask that you please think about taking my beloved with you. I fear she may not be safe here in her labs for long."

"Oh. Yeah, of course, Big Guy," she easily agrees. "I might have to blind fold Jane on the way to the safe house, 'cause Uncle Clint's really anal about who knows the location, but yeah. Jane can come with."

"Thank you, little Lightning Sister." Thor then makes quick work of pressing a lingering kiss to Darcy's head, and then Darcy makes quick work of texting Jane to pack a bag and to be ready ASAP.

And, of course, Jane thought the blind fold was a joke, but decides not to put up too much of a fuss when Darcy throws a blind fold into her lap after a long grocery shopping trip. The two-story farm house then makes Jane squeal when she sees it, and then praise the surrounding vibrant green rolling hills that appear to go on for miles all around them.

The team is gone for what seems like ages and then a quinjet appears out of nowhere one day. Clint leads a very shaken Natasha into the living room, followed by an equally shaken Bruce who's hugging himself tightly. Tony and Steve enter and take in their surroundings fairly quietly, and Jane doesn't hold back as she throws herself at Thor.

"What the hell's going on?" Natasha jerks at Darcy's voice, her body trembling before she realizes where she's at and then offers Darcy a reassuring smile.

"So much, Bit," Clint sighs. "Ultron's got two new enhanced friends. Mind magic was performed on all of them."

It's then Darcy really looks at the gathered heroes and notices how each and every one of them are holding themselves, and how distracted they seem. "Aw, hell. I'll bring out the extra blankets."

The team end up staying for the rest of the day and night, talking about what's going to happen next with Nick Fury who had stopped by for a surprise visit. Everyone is still visibly shaken by what they've been through, but it's Thor who seems the most troubled of them all. He doesn't speak about what's troubling him, though, and even departs from his team with mutterings about _needing to seek the truth._

Jane is hurt by Thor's sudden departure, but Darcy is there to help her cope when everyone else leaves once more.

Darcy and Jane hear nothing of the fight with Ultron, but only know it's over and done with when Clint calls to tell her that he's bringing home a couple of strays. The two _strays_ end up being the Maximoff twins- the enhanced beings who had been helping Ultron- and after wondering what the hell was going on, Clint confesses that Pietro saved his life and now it was up the Avengers and their resources to save his.

* * *

"Alright, Little Red, it's you and me against the world."

"The world?"

"Well, my uncle and your brother," Darcy clarifies.

Wanda's brow furrow, she crawling behind Darcy from one room to the next. "This war has gone on long enough, no? I should be training with the Captain."

"They sabotaged our cookie dough, Maximoff. _Cookie dough!_ " Darcy exclaims. "That's sacrilege."

Wanda huffs, but continues to follow the brunette beauty that had taken herself and her brother in alongside Hawkeye. Had it not been for Darcy and Clint, the twins would have had a tough time integrating themselves with the other Avengers. But with Clint and Darcy's help, the other Avengers ended up loosening up around the twins after many promises that their powers were not to be used against them ever again.

Darcy and Wanda end up underneath a desk in Jane's lab, Doctor Foster critically eyeing them before getting back to work.

"She's like a T-Rex," Darcy murmurs so that only Wanda hears. "If you make no sudden movements, she won't see you."

At that, Wanda snorts and Jane chucks a dry board eraser at their location. "I heard that!" Both hidden girls burst into a fit of giggles and Jane sighs at them. "What are you doing, anyway? That's one of the most obvious hiding spots."

"Yes, well, that's the point. We _want_ the boys to come find us," Darcy admits. "Just- if you leave, crawl out the door way; don't walk."

Jane pauses in her scribbling, her gaze then darting to the doorway and narrowing suspiciously. She thinks she sees a faint shimmer, but shakes her head and ignores it. "Whatever. If anything blows up, I'm coming after you two."

"Duly noted, Boss Lady."

Wanda giggles some more, but quiets down when she sees the tell-tale blur of her brother speed passed the lab. "They are coming."

Giddiness erupts within Darcy, but as she wastes time getting her phone ready to record, she completely misses as the wrong person falls victim to her and Wanda's prank.

"Doctor Foster," an all too familiar exasperated voice reaches Darcy's ears. "Do you care to explain why I'm covered in.. lube, is it?"

Wanda slaps a hand over her mouth as yet another snort escapes her, and then she and Darcy are popping up from behind the desk. And instead of Clint or Pietro falling victim to their prank, Darcy finds that it's-

"Agent iPod Thief! Long time, no see."

"It's Director now, Miss Lewis," Coulson drawls as he plucks off the clinging saran wrap. His usually immaculate suit has splotches of lube and Darcy has to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

"Yeah, I've actually known for a while," she grins. As Darcy climbs up to her feet, she holds out a hand for Wanda to stand up as well.

"Interesting. I'll want to know how you came upon that information, but first-" Director Coulson glances all around the lab, his gaze then turning towards the ceiling. "Barton, come out from your hiding spot. You owe me a new suit."

There's a loud snort from the ceiling before one of the tiles is removed, and Clint pokes his head out. "Sorry, Sir, but this one was not me."

A blur passes Coulson and comes to a stop next to Wanda, he smirking innocently. "Nor me, Director. No, I believe this is the handiwork of my sister and the Old Man's niece."

"Old.. Man's.. niece," Coulson says slowly, his gaze darting to Darcy. "Miss Lewis, is there something you've neglected to tell me?"

"Umm.."

"That's on me, Sir," Clint immediately replies. Doing a complicated flip and twist, Clint lands on his feet inside the lab and sidles up to Darcy. Slinging an arm over her shoulders, Clint pulls Darcy into his side and shrugs nonchalantly. "I didn't want SHIELD on her case, especially after Barney went rogue, so I kept her a secret."

Coulson's gaze darts between the Uncle and Niece duo, his facial expressions giving away nothing, but he does heave a little sigh and his lips press into a thin line. "I need a drink."

And before anyone can get Coulson exactly what he needs, Iron Man zooms on by outside the facility and stomps inside angrily. He finds the group in Foster's lab, his face plate sliding up to reveal a shocking head of gray/purple hair and eyes sparkling with anger.

"Now that- that was me," Pietro laughs.

* * *

 **Part 3 will be posted whenever I'm finished with it. And don't worry, the next installment contains more stuff about Darcy dealing with her bio-parents and a certain brainwashed assassin ;)**


End file.
